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Ron Swanson eating a Turkey Leg


Thanksgiving is upon us, and if the kitchen intimidates you more than your mother-in-law's judgmental looks, fear not! We've cooked up some simple, badass recipes that will not only taste delicious but make it seem like you actually give a shit.


If anyone asks, you made it from scratch.


Jalapeño Cornbread
Spicier than your aunt’s political opinions

jalapeño cornbread


  • 2 boxes of Jiffy Corn Muffin Mix
  • ⅔ cup milk
  • 2 large eggs
  • ½ cup shredded sharp cheddar cheese
  • ¼ cup fresh jalapenos, chopped
  • ¼ cup melted butter
  • 1 tbsp honey (optional, for a sweet kick)
  1. Preheat your oven to 400°F. Grease a baking dish or cast-iron skillet.
  2. In a mixing bowl, combine the Jiffy Corn Muffin Mix, milk, and eggs. Stir until just combined.
  3. Fold in the shredded cheddar cheese and chopped jalapeños.
  4. Add a tablespoon of honey, if desired.
  5. Pour the melted butter into the batter and gently stir until incorporated.
  6. Pour the batter into a greased baking dish or skillet. Smooth the top with a spatula. Bake in the preheated oven for 15-20 minutes, or until edges are golden brown and a toothpick inserted in the center comes out clean.
  7. Allow the cornbread to cool slightly before slicing. Serve with an extra drizzle of honey, if desired.


    Loaded Mashed Potatoes
    Aka instant potatoes + add your own fricken toppings

    Suggested Ingredients:

    • 1 package of family sized instant mashed potatoes
    • 1 cup shredded sharp cheddar cheese
    • ½ cup crispy bacon bits
    • ¼ cup chopped green onions
    • ¼ cup sour cream
    • 2 jalapeños, deseeded and sliced
    • Salt and pepper to taste
    1. Follow instructions on the instant mashed potatoes package.
    2. While potatoes are still hot, mix in the shredded cheddar cheese, ¼ cup crispy bacon bits, and salt and pepper to taste.
    3. Add mixture to serving dish, and sprinkle the green onions, jalapeños, and the rest of the bacon bits on top.
    4. Add a dollop of sour cream before serving, or serve on the side for guests to dress to their liking.


    15-Minute Italian Sausage Stuffing
    Boxed dressing dressed in a tuxedo t-shirt


    • 6 oz box stuffing mix
    • 1 lb ground Italian sausage
    • 2 stalks celery, diced
    • ½ medium onion, diced
    • 1 clove garlic
    • 1 tsp Italian seasoning
    • 1 ½ cups low-sodium chicken broth
    • 2 tablespoons salted butter
    1. Cook Italian sausage, celery, and onion in a skillet over medium heat until no longer pink. Drain any fat.
    2. Add the garlic and cook for one minute.
    3. Stir in Italian seasoning, chicken stock, and butter.
    4. Bring mixture to a boil then stir in stuffing mix. Remove from heat. Let stand for five minutes, fluff with a fork, and serve.



      Because who really has time anymore?

      Buy your favorite dish from a local restaurant, scoop into a serving bowl, and call it a day. Accept the credit. No one will know.



      Offering superior all-day drinkability for your guests

      Entertain with KEY Sparkling Water. With a refreshing taste and the right amount of bubbles to avoid bloat, guests will have room for seconds. Chill cans and serve as a ready-to-enjoy mocktail, or add to the beverage cart to serve as a mixer.



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